There is a belief that if you allow yourself, it be distracted from earning money and a professional career like being an accountant or a lawyer; it is to play away from what is essential. I’m afraid I have to disagree. Since I was a child, I have allowed myself to be pulled down a rabbit hole. When most people move on with turning their life away from play, I have stuck at it, allowing myself to indulge in a belief that an interest in what I notice is of value. I have given perception, high importance in my life. I feel lucky to be able to invest a lot of time over the years to follow that thing I have noticed.
“Every day I get to feel the thrill of my imagination.”
Every day I give myself the green light to work on things that catch my eye. What I do is so much more than a hobby; it is my passion. This obsession is a thing of value, and I hold it in high regard.
When I move around the world, I notice things of interest that catch my eye. As I notice something, I look deeper into it. By permitting myself to explore these moments and glances, I see perception as a fantastic thing.
I can’t help to question what I am looking at. What is the shape of colour? What is its movement? And what is it energy and space? What is nature? I have been following intuition into abstract shapes in the positive and negative shapes. I attracted to the formal qualities of a fleeting figure darting past.
My interested in these enclosed volumes appears to have no motive and no rationale to it. I want to draw or paint these moments; however, my head fills with doubts as they appear to be no logic in it. The forms do not appear to explain anything. Almost immediately, another one comes to replace it.
Often that glance that lasts, that fleeting moments of meaning, rings true to me in some way. I feel the need not to let go of it. By photographing it, I capture it. I return to the studio and then paint it. The outcome doesn’t resolve my doubt. It just captures this thing that I can’t explain for prosperity.
After painting one of these moments, it has little meaning. I hope, maybe after I have painted the glances, again and again, a more profound meaning will emerge. I keep painting in hope, waiting to see if the answer will be a profound as I hope it will be.
My studio is a safe place where I feel free. I’m aware it is common to feel vulnerable when people allow themselves to follow their obsessions. At times I feel very vulnerable. I remind myself it is all perfectly normal. Quincy Jones said,
“Not one drop of my self worth depends on your acceptance of me.”
Have you had one of these moments that sparked your curiosity? Do allow yourself time to follow your intuition? What is your secret that makes you feel vulnerable?
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“Free and alone in the maze of the city, the flâneur craves a revelation that might change his life and destiny.” Quote by
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